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gervais office quotes dance david brent british sitcom slough
Ree’s other other poem about The Office
Come TV crews, and call on Slough,
We need The Office quick, like now!
Tonight’s telly is all low-brow
Swarm over, Life!Come cameras, film the meeting room,
Perhaps you’ll see Joan with her broom,
Or embarrassed glances caught by the zoom
All stress and strife.So find that man with bearded chin,
Who’ll do the quiz, and always win,
And twitch his tie, and smirk, and grin
For six years.Let’s see his desk of polished oak,
And hear his smutty, racist joke,
‘a right good laugh’, ‘a brilliant bloke’
Nice one, cheers!Let’s hear those out-of-tune guitars,
And talk of renovating cars,
And long defunct fake Tutor bars
Sounds like hell?Don’t spare the clerks who sit and add,
To the humour, all ‘completely mad’.
But is it funny, or simply sad?
Hard to tell.Just as well it’s open-plan,
You can get them all, with just one pan,
The Gervais/Merchant retirement plan
On tape, or DVD instead.And don’t forget to film the town,
That view from the car-park, looking down,
To the roundabout of world renown
And routes to Maidenhead.For music, a remixed sixties theme,
The titles, a simple documentary scheme,
It all hangs together, like a dream
And never fails.Come TV crews and call on Slough,
Just one more series of Rick’s cash-cow.
We’re all cabbages becoming now
Let’s add to the sales.(Apologies to Sir John Betjeman)